Self-confidence comes from knowing who we truly are and living that truth. Your identity is not simply a role you play, and it’s not dependent on someone else’s opinion of you. God created you out of love and for a unique purpose. Let this truth anchor you.
Work on becoming more grounded in your deepest identity through prayer and reflection. This is a lifelong activity but as you continue to discover your identity, live your discoveries boldly! You’ll be amazed at the confidence you gain by living boldly the life only you are called to live.
Listen to your intuition.
Sounds cliché but it is so important. Your full being probably knows the answer already and it’s time you listened to it. I know this is even harder when you’re feeling anxious or stressed, but it’s even more important then. Take the time to breathe and reconnect with your soul with whatever way that works for you. It could be exercise, yoga, reading a good book, going for a walk in the park, taking a long bath or a million other things. For me, it’s cuddling and playing with my dog, and writing. Then, re-visit your choices and think about how each of them makes you feel. If one of them makes you feel open, inspired and nervously excited, this is a good one to go with. On the other hand, if a choice is making you feel sick, lethargic and beaten down, this is probably not the path for you.
Another fun trick that can help with this is assigning each side of a coin to one of your two options. Say to yourself that whatever side the coin lands on is exactly what you will do. Flip the coin up in the air and then pay attention to which side you actually want the coin to land on. Or alternatively, observe your initial reaction once the coin has landed and chosen the option for you. If you feel like you want to flip again, you probably want to go with the other option.
Evaluate your decisions.
With all the effort and hard work, you’ve invested in selecting alternatives, it can be tempting to want to move ahead with your choice, but that’s the moment to pause and evaluate. Hindsight is great for identifying why some choices have been more successful than others. So, before you start to implement your decision, take a long, hard look to make sure that you’ve gotten as much feedback and objective thinking and input as you can, because your final decision is only as good as the facts and research you have assembled.
The path of our lives is determined largely by the choices we make and the decisions that you take, make sure yours are confident and clear.
Recognize That Fear is Normal
There is a rumor circulating that those who are confident are never afraid; that they confidently walk into the line of fire with no fear.
But this couldn’t be further from the truth.
Everyone has fears and those who make decisions are often shaking in their boots, but they power through it and come out the other side more confident. If you lack confidence, it’s important not to buy into the theory that some people are born confident, and others just don’t have it. Instead, realize that confidence is a state of mind, and it’s something that you can work on.
Set a Time Limit
While the sound of a ticking clock, counting down the seconds until your decision must be made may send chills down your spine. Giving yourself a time limit can help your decision-making skills.
A set time will help to limit how long you have to think and rethink your decision, and then that’s it –no more dwelling on the issue. Indecision can cause you to stop and dwell, overthinking every nuance and potential “what if” scenario. If you get into the habit of doing this, it will stifle your productivity and limit your adventures in life. If you’re struggling with indecisiveness, get out of your comfort zone and force yourself to make a decision within a specific timeline –it’s almost guaranteed that doing this will help speed up your decision-making process and will make you a more effective decision maker.
Establish a Circle of Trust
Instead of asking everyone from your brother to the barista for advice, make it a point to refer to a small, consistent group of trusted “advisors.” Choose friends, relatives, or co-workers who know you well and who can give unbiased recommendations without pressuring you or getting overly involved. Limiting the number of people, you consult with will help you get the advice you’re seeking—without getting overwhelmed.
3. Take Your Time
Often, the pressure to make a decision can make you anxious to move forward before you’ve taken the time you need to really weigh your options. But in many cases, you aren’t actually expected to decide on the spot, and it’s perfectly appropriate to pause and reflect. If you’re presented with a decision that throws you for a loop—say, a surprise job offer—ask the other party for some time to consider the situation, and for a deadline for when you need to respond.
Don’t assume you’re the smartest person.
People often need to feel they’re the smartest and have all the answers (even when they don’t). This attitude will do nothing but hold you back. Recognize that you still have a lot to learn and seek out information with humility and an open mind.