The condition may occur from the ages of 45-64. Mid-life crises last about 3–10 years in men and 2–5 years in women. A mid-life crisis could be caused by aging itself, or aging in combination with changes, problems, or regrets over: work or career, relationship, family and friends. 45% of divorces and affairs happen between the ages of 45-55 do to a mid-life crisis. Most people think one of the big signs of mid-life crises for men is when they buy a sport’s car, which can be true, but most people don’t understand that most men go through a mid-life crisis by having an affair with younger women, getting divorce, drinking too much, start gambling, or using other substances to make themselves feel good about life.
Studies do show that at least a third of men in their 40s and 50s admit to forking out big bucks on a new car as a result of a midlife crisis. And some women admit to getting Botox or making some kind of drastic change to their appearance during this transitional period. (A footnote: Women are more likely to go through a midlife crisis earlier than men, often between the ages of 35 and 44.) The impact of a midlife change touches every aspect of a person’s life. We offer a complete set of materials here for you to understand every part of what we experience in a midlife.
Has your longtime, faithful husband had a wandering eye lately? Are strange women calling the house? Do his shirts reek of someone else’s perfume? Does he have all sorts of excuses—from helping out friends, to working late, to always hang out with married woman or woman that have a boyfriend and he say’s “oh they are just friends”
just to explain why he hasn’t been around the house lately. If you are asking yourself these questions, your husband might be cheating on you.
This is just one of the painful results of a midlife crisis. Jim Conway, psychologist and co-founder of Midlife Dimensions, is a group that offers counseling and support to midlife couples and their children and says that midlife men often “turn tender” and start to focus more on people and feelings, but ironically some marriages suffer for it. “Men are easily drawn into an affair if their wives don’t understand the changes in them and communication breaks down”, says Conway. But if he does have an affair, remember that it is never your fault. He made the choice to break your vows. One of the big things to look out for is when a 35-45-55 year old is looking to hang out with a younger women and spends money on them to make themselves feel good about themselves or saying they are having fun.
He has little interest in spending time (or having sex) with you
Nothing despises me more than a 65 years old man driving a sports car and has a 25-year-old girl on the passenger seat and you can’t tell if she is his daughter or his lover while knowing that he probably have kids that age!!!!! For couples that had a nonexistent sex life before reaching a midlife, less nookie over 50 doesn’t necessarily mean hubby is in crisis. But if he seems to be struggling with his self-esteem or is generally unhappy, sex might become an additional burden to him. On the other hand, if he’s having an affair, he might actually get friskier with you so you won’t suspect. Keep an eye out for major changes for example if he works too much and says “sex is not the most important part of the relationship”. Or every time you talk to him and he says “let’s see”, “I don’t know I’m just having fun”, or most importantly if he always says “I don’t care one way or another.” Again, ask your husband about anything that’s confusing you.
He is drinking too much or abusing other substances
This one is obvious. The smell of liquor on his breath, empty bottles around the house, bloodshot eyes and erratic behavior are all indications that your man might have a serious drinking problem. But this is one problem that your man may have to deal with largely on his own. One of the big sign is when they start going out in the club in the age of 45-55 on the night that club is for 20 years old people. Whey they say “I love dancing” and makes dinner plans with friends that involves drinks. A wife can tell a husband that she disagrees with his behavior, but she cannot ‘make’ him stop any behavior that he doesn’t want to stop.
You’re making some rash decisions:
As a result of soul searching, it’s possible that you’ve drawn some significant conclusions about the state of your life, like perhaps that your marriage isn’t as romantic as you had hoped or your career is no longer fulfilling. The danger is when somebody makes an impulsive decision—like a knee-jerk reaction—based on these feelings it might not lead to therapeutic results.
You’re walking around with an overwhelming sense of loss:
Do you have this nagging feeling that something in your life has slipped away—yet you can’t quite put your finger on what that thing is? “I don’t know if I would call it clinical depression, but there is a dealing of some degree of loss. The loss of a wish, the loss of the idea of who you wanted to be—it’s a confrontation with reality that can leave people feeling previous disappointed and unsettled.
You become overly concerned about your appearance:
Wanting to look and feel your best is one thing but staring into a mirror for hours to point out emerging lines and wrinkles could indicate a crisis. Some people will go to extremes trying to achieve a look of youth or perfection. Sadly, they tend to ruin themselves, it’s like that fake plant that is too green and too perfect. This behavior is based in fear—fear of losing one’s looks but this is cultural brainwashing.
Single people are likely to obsess more over their changing face compared to those in committed relationships (who tend to care more about their weight and being fit). This is true for both men and women—it’s a response to physical changes that identify there’s an inevitable shift going on.
If any of these signs applies to you, you maybe going through a mid- life crisis:
- Uses words like “I don’t care, one way or another, let’s see, or just having fun.
- Looking into the mirror and you no longer recognize yourself.
- Unexplained bouts of depression when doing tasks that used to make you happy.
- Change of habits. Activities which used to bring pleasure now are boring.
- It feels good to get hurt.
- Wanting to run away from everything.
- A desire to get into physical shape.
- Irritability or unexpected anger.
- Change in allergies.
- Desire for physical free-flowing movement (Running, Biking, Dance, Fast red sports cars, Sky diving, etc).
- Exploring new musical tastes.
- Sudden interest in drawing, painting, writing books or poetry.
- Shifting sleep patterns (Typically to less).
- Thinking about death, wondering about the nature of death.
- Changes to the balance take of vitamins. Or taking dietary supplements for the purposes of extending life.
- Excessively buying new clothes and taking more time to look good.
- A desire to surround yourself with different people and settings.
- Hanging out with a different generation as their energy and ideas stimulate you.
- Restarting things, which you dropped 20 years earlier.
- Feeling trapped or tied down by fiscal responsibilities.
- Excessively looking back to one’s childhood.
- Keep re-asking yourself: “Where am I going with my life?”
- Doing things that get you into trouble when it surprises everyone as being out of character.
- Here something you can do to help you with your mid-life crises feelings:
- Think Before Making Any Radical Changes
- Before quitting a job, buying an expensive car, or leaving a spouse, talk to family members and friends. Sometimes, having an outside opinion can provide a useful perspective.
- Get Professional Help
- This can include different kinds of therapy, medicine, and holistic treatments.
- Midlife Crises Are Not Inherently a Bad Thing
- Use new thoughts and ideas in a positive way. With careful consideration and preparation, attitudes can improve with change, lessening the effects of the crisis.
- Move Outside Your Comfort Zone
- Trying a new activity, increasing a base of knowledge, and traveling can also help you move out of your comfort zones.
Volunteering to help others can offer a new perspective to the problems caused by a midlife crisis. Working with the homeless or victims of domestic violence, for example, can help provide you with context during a midlife crisis.
Talk About the Crisis with Loved Ones
Sometimes, just having a compassionate ear can make all the difference. Have frank discussions with loved ones to help ease the pain of a midlife crisis.