A failure to one person might simply be a great learning experience for someone else. Many of us are afraid of failing, at least some of the time. But fear of failure (also called “atychiphobia”) is when we allow that fear to stop us from doing the things that can move us forward to achieve our goals.
To find the causes of fear of failure, we first need to understand what “failure” actually means. We all have different definitions of failure, simply because we all have different benchmarks, values, and belief systems. A failure to one person might simply be a great learning experience for someone else.
Experiencing a traumatic event at some point in your life can also be a cause. For example, say that several years ago you gave an important presentation in front of a large group, and you did very poorly. The experience might have been so terrible that you became afraid of failing in other things. And you carry that fear even now, years later. It’s important to realize that in everything we do, there’s always a chance that we’ll fail. Facing that chance, and embracing it, is not only courageous – it also gives us a fuller, more rewarding life.
How many of us actually make those dreams a reality? The trouble is that before even beginning to achieve that dream, many of us have doubts about our ability to do what we love. We are apprehensive and hesitant to try out something different.
The voice in our head often says: “I don’t have the time or the money”.
“I say this to myself alone: when you feel crushed, those around you look broken. When you glow, darkness turns to black light. If your hurt, even the comforts you are offered wound you. As you prosper, your failures prove to be just the right thing, perfect.
IDENTIFY THE ROOT CAUSE
Where does our fear of failure originate? Identifying the root cause is the first step to acknowledging our fear and overcoming it. I sit down, close my eyes, relax, take deep breaths, and try to understand my fear. Coming face to face with our anxiety is the best way to get over our trepidation. We need to ask ourselves “How badly do I need to complete this . . . ?” At the end of the day, we are our best motivators. Failure is a part of life; it is failure that makes us stronger and more persistent to achieve our goal.
Fear of failure is instilled in us from early childhood. We’re told not to do that, avoid this, or else. After a while you become cautious. Instead of taking action, you seek permission and confirmation. As we grow, this belief tends to become unconscious and automatic.
You aren’t aware of its presence, yet it controls you from the shadows, like an invisible puppet master.
I know many people who would say that they are not successful; at least they have not reached success in the areas that feel important to them. I have been one of those people.
One day I asked myself “What keeps me from being successful?” It took me a while to come up with the answer but I realized that I was holding myself back.
Why? Well, maybe I was afraid that when I started something I would fail. Maybe I was afraid that I was not “one of those people” who get everything they go after. Maybe I felt that I didn’t deserve success in life. The truth is that I didn’t believe that I was able. I was not able to be successful, able to be happy, or able to fully enjoy my life. Does this scenario sound familiar to you?
If you want to be truly successful in life (and who doesn’t?) then first of all you have to learn to believe in yourself. If you do not think that you can be successful, then who will?
Life success does not mean that you will not fail but it means that your mistakes will teach you something and show you a better way to get what you want
Continually remind yourself that you are part of something larger than you.
Fear often has to do with worrying about uncertainty, feeling out of control, and wondering what your life’s purpose is. When you realize you are part of a bigger picture, even if you don’t fully understand what that is, it’s easier to ascertain that you both deserve and need to be successful and happy.
You do the right things, you help people around you, you make being a good person a priority, and you know that this isn’t just about you—it’s also about the bigger picture that your part of. These thoughts always give me the courage to try something new and I believe that my life is successful because of the doing, not the outcome.
Take time to find your authenticity.
Do you have a lot on you? I’m sure you do, and I know that you are doing your best at doing what you have to do. But do you know who you are? Do you know what makes you happy? Do you know your passions?
Do you take time to reflect on your life and figure out your purpose in this world? Unfortunately, most of us get so caught up in responsibilities and goals that we forget to enjoy our lives.
No matter how busy you are, you must make time for yourself. It can be just 10 minutes a day, but this time must belong to you. If you give yourself the luxury of free time then you will notice that the rest of your responsibilities will get easier.
You will be a better parent. You will be able to come up with creative ideas at work (and finally get that promotion.) You will be able to take better care of your health. You will reduce your stress and experience the joy of living.
Learn.
People are always scared of what they don’t know. My first job was in a web development company. I was scared to death during my first day at work because I didn’t know anything about web and blogs and the words CSS and PHP seemed like medical terms for lethal diseases. I was forced to learn about everything and now I feel absolutely at ease online.
If you have a fear of something you just have to educate yourself about it. It is like walking into a dark room. At first you feel scared and don’t know what to expect but once you turn the light on, everything gets clear and simple.
Live in balance.
No matter how important success might seem to you, it is still important to follow it with balance; otherwise your journey towards success will turn into an obsession that will ruin everything that you truly love in life.
Success is not a destination. It’s a journey, and it’s important that we take each step feeling grounded and balanced. Spend time with your loved ones, enjoy your hobby or follow your passion, take care of your health and grow spiritually. This is the meaning of true success, the one that you can achieve only in balance.
I think that you are able to be successful. It is your right and purpose in life to be successful in whatever you are doing. If you believe in that then nothing will ever stop you from living a balanced and joyous life.
A lot of times, we are too stubborn to admit that we are afraid of success or of what it will bring us. So, we lie to ourselves, thinking that our happiness is up there on the top of the hill.
