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4 ways to get your confidence back after divorce

Divorce has a way of making even the most self-assured suddenly become full of uncertainty. It makes us question our worth and at the same time we are thrust back into the single world. “Was I not good enough?” “Was it my fault?” “Maybe I am getting old!!”. Increasing confidence is important during and after a breakup as confidence plays an essential role in recovery. When you feel confident you are more able to accept the past, learn from mistakes and make sound decisions about your future


Push out of your comfort zone

Here, change is a good thing. There is no point sticking to the routine you had as a married person because it will just keep you stuck in the past and prevent you from moving forward. You don’t need to give up your old routine completely. You want to get rid of what wasn’t nourishing you and hang onto those parts that were. Here you want to make whatever change you need to make, so you feel your life is expanding into a new direction. If you are not expanding out, you are contracting in. Whenever growth is dampened, suffering happens on some level. As long as you feel your life is getting bigger and better as a result of your divorce, you will feel happier and your self-confidence and self-worth will improve.


Embrace the unknown

Stepping out of our comfort zone can be a daunting prospect. Change for many symbolizes uncertainty, unfamiliar territory and a feeling of anxiety caused by the apprehension of not knowing what lies ahead. By taking a moment to clear your thoughts and ground ourselves through meditation and controlled breathing, the realization that there is nothing to fear and so much to gain becomes easier to visualize. Instead of filling your head with worrying thoughts that will do nothing other than drain your energy, focus on the excitement and joy that new challenges can bring, images of the new friends that you will meet along the way and benefit what a different environment can bring.


Open to learning about what your feelings are telling you

All feelings are informational. Just as physical pain alerts you to a problem that needs attention, so does emotional pain. Painful feelings are telling you that you are abandoning yourself, or that someone is being unloving to you, or to themselves, or to others, or that a situation is not good for you. Compassionately attending to your feelings, learning what they are telling you, and then taking action to remedy the situation, will make you feel loved.


Change your mindset

Changing our thoughts can help us move in the direction we want. This takes mental stamina and discipline. A helpful way to start retraining your mind is by creating affirmations having to do with what you desire and/or whom you want to become and say them every day. Eventually these affirmations will become a part of your belief system.


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